Jesus Christ's Internet Digest


"I talk to Jesus, Jesus, every day."

Thus spake the Kings of Leon on a recent album track, and you know what? Myself and ver 'Kings are similar in that respect. Jesus works in IT, and spends a lot of his time monitoring feedsites, and sending me links to random stuff. I thought I'd share these divine recommendations with you, so from now on, Jeezy (as I call him) will be taking over Weaponizer on a weekly basis to wow and amaze you with his ability to trancend news, and bring you only trivia. Over to you JC...

Hey everybody, Jesus here, with a dose of internet goodness for your sin-tarnished souls. As everybody knows, Star Wars isn't just a film. It's an actual set of events that occurred a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. The films are just one in a long line of attempts to re-create in documentary style the adventures of the Skywalker clan and their friends and enemies, and of course a money-making venture by my good friend George Lucas (who actually looks a bit like my Dad from some angles - but I digress.) I found this story about another recent attempt to re-create aspects of Star Wars lore by building a working X-Wing, and I must admit it had me pretty excited. With my meagre IT wages, I'll never be able to afford one, but even looking at the pictures made me slightly wet.

Another thing that got me excited this week was the news that my favourite band, Nine Inch Nails, have quit their recording contract with Interscope in order to strike out on their own, using the internet to reach their fans directly. I have always been a fan of Trent Reznor's work, and as many of you may know, the band's name was directly inspired by that nasty crucifixion incident that happened to me all those years ago, back in what is laughably called The Holy Land. Dude, if I could show you how many people were claiming Jerusalem as their One True Holy City back in the day, you'd laugh - it makes today's situation in the Middle East look laughably simple and uncomplicated! Anyway the books have it all wrong, I never claimed to be the King of any religious groups. In fact, I got crucified for wearing sandals inside a public bath-house, and because I took the heat when my good pal Judas Iscariot got caught stealing incense from the local Temple Supplies Shop. That's the last time I ever cover for a mate!

Finally, just to show you what a cultured guy I am, I'm going to recommend you check out this poem by my good buddy Tawona Sithole, who runs the Seeds of Thought poetry group in Glasgow. This poem was put on the web as part of Black History Month, which is a groovy thing to know about. I'm black, I've always been black - I don't know who the white dude with the beard is meant to represent, but it ain't me. So get some culture, innit, and read Tawona's poem, Tears of the Heart.

Finally, a lot of Christians ask themselves on a daily basis what I would do in a given situation. The question What Would Jesus Do (abbreviated to the simpler WWJD) has long bothered the consciousness of God-fearing folks, but the folks at Comedy Against Evil have got it all figured out. I mean, now you know what I'd do - I'd get an IT job and live in the suburbs and live it up, have a beer on the weekends... the usual! But this image is a great guess. Top marks for ingenuity.

That's all from me for now - more crazy links and breaking news from me next week!

- JC

Jesus Christ's Internet Digest