KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON by WILL ELLWOOD

"Will the last person to leave the country please turn off the lights." That was the joke we all made when the country was going to hell. While the Americans and the Russian's were throwing nuclear bombs at each other, in the old world we were doing far cruder things.

What, you didn't know that we buried nuclear bombs along the Rhine? We've been practising fucking each other over for thousands of years. Detonating megatons of weapons underground as an anti-tank weapon, that's nothing. The fact that it irradiated all the topsoil is irrelevant, because that was the opening blast of the last and largest land battle in human history.

Some poxy airbursts above major cities is nothing. I've been to the Americas before. I've come by boat on old cruise liner several times. Like I said, we old world people have been fighting and throwing shit at each other too long to let the end of the world stop us from doing business.

Sure you've a few mutants. All very ugly and inconvenient, but while the intercontinentals were flying overhead we were doing darker things.

East-German scientists opened gateways between worlds over major industrial cities, and things crept out. Fleshy horrible creatures. Creatures that were hungry. As horrible as that sounds they were just the opening salvoes; just as the nuclear mines were distractions.

The foot soldiers on both sides were human. We'd taken our men and women, and operated on them. Made them better killers. Made them better survivors. Removed much of their brains and given them the single-minded desire to kill the enemy.

And then we dropped them over cities filled with civilians still dealing with the aftermath of the bomb. Still dealing with the new neighbours from the stars.

Most of these soldiers that weren't killed in the battle-to-end-all-battles still survive somewhere. Of course, most of them were killed. We cleaned up the mess with typical efficiency. Just got on with it. But some still survive. They make good bogey men for the children.

Even our governments survived, mostly. Armed uprisings against the government are futile when they are the only thing feeding you and fighting incomprehensible aliens.

Don't give me any of that survivalist bullshit!

We still have civilisation. We still have electric lights. While you are busy acting out The Road, we are getting on with being human. We are still trading, and we are still fucking each other over if it'll mean that we'll get ahead in life.

So you bloody Americans, what do you want? I've got guns, ammo, booze, seeds, medicine and luxury goods. If you've got the goods to barter with, and that includes slaves, then I'm the man you want to be doing business with.


In response to:





Have Another Drink, Survivor by Robin LeBlanc

and

If It Will Numb The Pain by Rootfireember