AUCTION NUMBER ONE by JOHN R. PLATT

I've been selling a lot of my old crap online these days.

No matter how much I think something deserves to just be thrown out, I take a digital photo and upload it for auction. Every single item sells for at least five times the opening bid.

Old books, worn underwear, broken appliances. There's something for everyone, it seems.

This week, I decided to test it. I blew my nose into a tissue and posted it for sale. Last-minute bidding took it above a thousand dollars.

I'm starting to think that I'm a celebrity and nobody told me.