FUCK YOU, TWICE by ELLE MATHEUSE

An elderly woman is thrown to the ground, her handbag ripped violently from her arm, her body left heartlessly to its fate. A hateful act for sure. But let’s consider the facts: she was 82 and visibly frail with it; she hadn’t told anyone she was leaving the house and wasn’t quite sure where she was going; she was alone and smiled at anyone who walked by; she wasn’t used to being in the city and she was wandering around a crime hotspot with a Jenners bag and a walking stick – what did she expect?!

A man is fatally stabbed while walking home from a party. Tragic and all too common. But let’s consider the facts: he was alone in a quiet area at night; he was wearing a stupid costume and dancing; he didn’t raise his voice or make any threats when approached; he spoke calmly and tried to reason with his attackers; he had no weapon with him; he made no attempt to defend himself – what did he expect?!

A young family have their modest home burgled while they play in their back garden. A terrible blow. But let’s consider the facts: they moved in recently during daylight hours, openly displaying their possessions to potential thieves; they were distracted and not on high alert for criminals; they knew burglaries were common yet left their front door unlocked; they heard a faint noise from inside but dismissed it as new-home creaks – what did they expect?!

A shopkeeper has several expensive items stolen from his failing business. Devastating and potentially bankruptcy-inducing. But let’s consider the facts: he worked alone and made no secret of it; he had no modern security technology protecting his shop; he knew the boys and didn’t think they’d steal from him; he encouraged the thieves by stocking desirable items and displaying their prices – what did he expect?!

A four-year old is sexually abused and forced to keep quiet until the abuser is publicly exposed. Unthinkable. Unbearable. But let’s consider the facts: the child allowed himself to be left alone with the man; he had countless opportunities to alert his loving mum, but didn’t; he didn’t scream or cry while it was happening; he revelled in people’s compliments about how handsome a boy he was, and often ran around naked in front of whoever happened to be there – what did he expect?!

Now, I know we’re all prone to jumping to crazy conclusions when presented with people, situations and things we know very little about but no right-minded person, however nutty, could consider such ignorant assumptions, such uninformed judgements, such hateful dismissals of the suffering of others to be logical, defensible or true. Even The Daily Hate would think twice about publishing such unmerciful contempt. Well, maybe once.

Whatever our initial thoughts on hearing about some crime or other, we seek further information, we ponder and reflect before making our still-uninformed conclusions, yes? Nine times out of ten, if blame must be assigned, we blame the crim, right? Largely at least, we assume that those assailed against didn’t ‘deserve’ whatever happened to them and proffer distant sympathy, quietly muttering ‘there but for the grace of God/Allah/Jehovah/Carol Malone go I’. Superficial tutting about victims’ stupidity, naivety or cowardice aside, there are few crimes that inspire widespread feelings of venomous anger towards the victim or accusations of culpability, and calls for punitive measures against them. There are even fewer crimes that inspire widespread doubt as to whether they actually happened at all. Anyway, here’s another one.

A woman is raped in a car park. A horrific violation for anyone. But let’s consider the facts: she was alone in a quiet area at night; she hadn’t told anyone she was leaving work; she was wearing a nurse’s uniform; she heard a faint noise behind her but dismissed it as night-time jitters; she knew him and waved as he walked by; she didn’t think he’d hurt her; she didn’t scream or cry while it was happening; she begged him to use a condom and he did; she made no attempt to defend herself; she had no weapon with her; she didn’t fight; she showered when she got home and had no visible wounds; she didn’t report it immediately and was reluctant to identify her attacker; she should have known better than to go out alone at night, and she was a big girl, she could have fought him off if she’d really wanted to; by the look of her, she wasn’t exactly a stranger to men, and it’s her word against his; she was a bit of a prickteaser in her youth, by all accounts, and she liked it rough; she was wearing a fruity costume as well, tits and arse hanging out, I’ll bet, stinking of booze; she probably got drunk and said she was ‘raped’ to cover up a one-night stand; she wouldn’t be the first slag to get fucked in a car park and cry wolf, and it’s unlikely someone would go to the bother of forcing that, if you know what I mean, and even if it did happen, she knew him, she probably gave him good reason to think she was up for it; if anything, the cops should arrest her for wasting their time; she was asking for it – what the fuck do they expect?!